If you’re like me, you didn’t grow up thinking you were an evangelical. My parents said we were nondenominational. The Christian magazines in our upstairs bathroom told me we were Charismatic. The churches we went to - excuse me, fellowships - said we were Vineyard. Me? I thought there were two types of Christians: the kind that waited ‘til marriage to have sex and the kind that didn’t.
I remember the media once referring to my youth group as evangelical. This confused me, and offended me, because evangelical meant Anglican in the Midwest town I come from. We were not Anglican, nor did we belong to any other traditional Christian branch. Traditional meant boring. Spirit-less. Dead. We were on fire. OG lit. [Click to Tweet]
So how did I finally realize I was an exvangelical? By resonating with every single post in its namesake hashtag. And because it’s rather depressing and angry-making to acknowledge, I thought I’d indulge a little post-faith humor.
You Know You're an Exvangelical If...
1) ‘Religious’ was a dirty word. A slur word. Like calling someone stuck-up.
2) This image triggers you.
3) You kissed dating goodbye. And referenced I Kissed Dating Goodbye like a second Bible.
4) You went on a mission trip. It was even more awkward converting people than you feared.
5) You legit thought doing a DTS with YWAM was a viable alternative to college. And you know what those letters stand for.
6) You attended a purity conference, signed a purity pledge, or wore a purity ring.
7) You used phrases like, “God put it on my heart…” and, “I’ve been under attack…”
8) You know that the word ‘secular’ means.
9) You felt judgmental for noticing when other people were being judgmental.
10) You've faked praying in tongues or falling to the floor.
If any of that pulled your triggers, welcome to the club! I shunned the label ‘evangelical’ as a Christian. Now I embrace ‘exvangelical’ with an amused chuckle. It’s just too accurate.
Okay, your turn! You know you're an #exvangelical when ____________.
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